Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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