If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
