Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
