He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
