Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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