wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
