Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
