Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
