Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize