you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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