He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
