oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize