Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
