I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
