u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
