what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize