uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
