Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
