You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
