Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
