NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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