and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
