Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
