This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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