i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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