it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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