you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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