So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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