Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
