Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
