Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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