I wish my penis had an off switch
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
