Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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