Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
