New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
