therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I pour the whiskey from now on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
