I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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