I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think your dad took our porno
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
