Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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