she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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