Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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