Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
