a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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