Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
