I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize