Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
