Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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