doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize