there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
