Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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