you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
