I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
