When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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