The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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