End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
