It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
