Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
