You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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