If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize