so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
