i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
