Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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