You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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