It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
