Fine. I'll sleep in my office
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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