I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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