dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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